I saw the world for awhile yesterday in a crazy eye, though it was not for long enough, and I found as I medicated myself further, I began to lose touch with myself and my surroundings. Ranting raving and lurching about like a grossly offensive caricature of myself.
Seeing many people who I hold in high regard was excellent and certainly increased the level of enjoyment I experienced, though for certain strange times, I was all alone in a room full of people. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, just something that happens. We are where we are at times, and then as well we are not.
Who was I? Is something I think later, in the aftermath, when the brain has cleared, and the images have been downloaded to the storage area in the marvelous organ that we live by, as it dangles upwards off our torso, at times balanced and poised, at times lolling and twisting with respective possessive moments of madness and enlightenment.
Why do certain people look as if they are worried or hold you in some place of pity in their mind? It is entirely odd, I always see it in such a manner anyway. How can anyone else ever decide that they know better than the individual? The individual is right unto themselves and in some instances owes the world of humanity nothing.
Earth however is a different story.
We owe earth our all, and one day the planet will again take us into itself as we become the future on our demise. We are rewoven by the machine that is the universe, into it. The threads of our being again part of the millennial mosaic.
So it was odd and entertaining to stride about in heroic fashion, bawling obscenity, offending some and amusing others. A specific incident I could relate from memory was a strange silly man yelling obscene language at me for merely talking to his acquaintance, who was an old acquaintance of mine. I of course totally overreacted in excellently garrulous fashion. I declared that I would get a stool and place it through him, which was absolutely preposterous bollocks, though he of course did not know that I was talking merry malarkey . His face fell visibly and he retreated slightly, his roaring and obscene shouts ceased, he was like seagull, screeching wildly but fearful when faced with a little conviction.
I thought about it today and realized I was extremely lucky, though it was highly amusing, and gave me an excellent laugh. Still I do regret it in one way, because I was being completely over the top and should have walked away once he bawled obscenity at me. It is not wise to regret though, because it has passed and your soul can become trapped on a memory if you let it, and it drags you back sometimes to a place you need not go.
It was an hilarious evening, though probably would have been far better if a murder of gigantic crows had been harassing us as we walked from bar to bar. Hopefully it happens in the near future. I cross my fingers in hope every time my head touches the pillow. Regards and best wishes.
