Straight reckoning it, true thinking, rue thinking, you thinking? I am, not. Arrange your prejudices in a line, before they consume you with guilt, let them lead you to a new thought, if you can bend your mind in such a manner. Or perhaps align your knowledge in order to make a new bridge to an old reason.
I like to think I think things that are new, though I am sure every thought I have has been through another mind on some occasion. Whether it be the lowliest slave in the court of some debauched historical king, to the very mind of the greatest being to ever grace the universe, whatever that mind could be. Let me babble, because I will.
Do you ever think you could be something else? Something special? Or do you condemn such a thought as vanity? Self indulgent ego stroking? It is, it is. Mind you, the ego must be stroked, as it is ego which keeps us going, humility is a beautiful thing, though it is horribly overrated.
I believe I am something quite magical, and I hope you who read this do to, because this universe, and its beautiful mystery is something that is unexplained, and there is a magic in that, and we are very much a part of that magic.
Energy courses through the universe, unexplained energy, masses of it, causation, deprivation, voids, supernovae, black holes.
Never forget the amazing magic of the thing that gives us life, the very god, the very reason for our creation, beyond religion, beyond humankind. Always remember love, that thing which accumulates and spills through us, to people who sometimes feel they are beyond it, love saves them.
I remember many years ago, running through Wellington, bombed out of my gourd on all manner of drugs, feeling the weight of technology on my soul, the torturous pressure of modernity, and then seeing a person who smiled at me, and relief running through my veins, feeling it, coursing through my body. Beautiful moments. So many of them.
Some kid asked me for two bucks today, 'For a feed' he said. I was glad to give it, even if he was just accumulating for a hit. Just so he knew that people have not given up on him, and because I had enough, and I could spare it.
I spent an evening hanging out with friends, from the rafters, like bats, though there are no rafters in this house. We actually just sat around and had a few drinks and a barbeque. It was nice, and easy, the conversation was good, and the time was well spent.
I thought I would write something for the mere sake of hitting the keys, and I think though I have said precisely nothing in the course of this missive, I feel better for saying nothing. The universe is my god, and I believe in love.
I also believe in hatred and evil, things that I have felt, violence that has gripped my being on occasion. Why should they be viewed as bad things though? If we are merely animals? Predatory prehistoric traits handed on by a genetic code. There can be no guilt or misery if evil and hatred are merely the imbedded genetic code that we carry on from our ancestors. Therefore we can kill with impunity and feel no empathy for those who suffer. We can laugh at those who suffer, make jokes about their pain, for we are innocent of their pain, and there is no transgression in their suffering on our part.
So switch the channel to sport, pop the popcorn in the microwave, crack open a beer and sink into the couch, in debauched comfort. We have risen to where we are through sheer evolutionary prowess. Survival of the fittest, laugh at the weak, for they are weak. Lurch on into the new year, with new understanding of your own evolutionary greatness. Ride on into the sunset, mind clear of emotion.
I think I prefer to care. Just because I can. Love can save us.
